美国TOP大学文书喜好盘点,藤校青睐怎样的申请文书呢?

Personal Statement (个人陈述)作为申请中的一项重要材料,一定程度上决定了招生官对你的“第一印象”。

PS的发挥空间非常灵活,更加注重个人的个性化展示。有的学校还会出特定的话题,要求申请人围绕特定的话题展开分享一段的见解。

下面小林就带大家一起看一看美国TOP大学都对哪些类型的文书情有独钟吧~

1美国TOP大学文书喜好盘点

专注于文书研究的平台Admitsee曾发布过一份调查,通过汇总整理539 份斯坦福大学录取文书和 393 份哈佛大学录取文书后发现:

斯坦福大学的录取文书中常常出现——happy(快乐)passion(热情)better(更好)improve(进步)这类积极改变的词汇。

而在哈佛大学的录取文书中——cancer(癌症)difficult(困难)hard(艰难)tough(艰苦)等相对消极、苦难的词汇出现的频率更高。

仔细研究文书的内容,相关人员发现斯坦福大学更偏向于在文书中看到学生个人特质或者是有创造性的个人和家庭的故事。

而相比之下哈佛大学则对学生的成功以及克服困难的过程更感兴趣,这个特点从2022录取哈佛的文书中也能看出!

哈佛大学

哈佛大学非常愿意看到你在文书中展现你有多么强大,无论是成绩还是思考深度,最好是经历了种种困难后取得的巨大成功。

哈佛优秀文书:十三年无家可归

诚实的、令人心碎、强大的,这是阅读Eda的文章后首先想到的三个词。

Eda通过文书不仅仅是告诉招生官关于她的旅程,更强调了她的旅程是多么不典型。

招生官被她能够克服任何苦难的决心所吸引,这样的品质将会让Eda将成为一名强大申请者。

文书内容展示:
I sat on my parents’ bed weeping with my head resting on my knees. “Why did you have to do that to me? Why did you have to show me the house and then take it away from me?” Hopelessly, I found myself praying to God realizing it was my last resort.

For years, my family and I found ourselves moving from country to country in hopes of a better future. Factors, such as war and lack of academic opportunities, led my parents to pack their bags and embark on a new journey for our family around the world. Our arduous journey first began in Kuçovë, Albania, then Athens, Greece, and then eventually, Boston, Massachusetts. Throughout those years, although my family always had a roof over our heads, I never had a place I could call “home.”

That night that I prayed to God, my mind raced back to the night I was clicking the delete button on my e-mails, but suddenly stopped when I came upon a listing of the house. It was September 22, 2007 —eight years exactly to the day that my family and I had moved to the United States. Instantly, I knew that it was fate that was bringing this house to me. I remembered visiting that yellow house the next day with my parents and falling in love with it. However, I also remembered the heartbreaking phone call I received later on that week saying that the owners had chosen another family’s offer.

A week after I had prayed to God, I had given up any hopes of my family buying the house. One day after school, I unlocked the door to our one-bedroom apartment and walked over to the telephone only to see it flashing a red light. I clicked PLAY and unexpectedly heard the voice of our real estate agent. “Eda!” she said joyfully. “The deal fell through with the other family—the house is yours! Call me back immediately to get started on the papers.” For a moment, I stood agape and kept replaying the words in my head. Was this really happening to me? Was my dream of owning a home finally coming true?

Over the month of November, I spent my days going to school and immediately rushing home to make phone calls. Although my parents were not fluent enough in English to communicate with the bank and real estate agent, I knew that I was not going to allow this obstacle to hinder my dream of helping to purchase a home for my family. Thus, unlike a typical thirteen-year-old girl’s conversations, my phone calls did not involve the mention of makeup, shoes, or boys. Instead, my conversations were composed of terms, such as “fixed-rate mortgages,” “preapprovals,” and “down payments.” Nevertheless, I was determined to help purchase this home after thirteen years of feeling embarrassed from living in a one-bedroom apartment. No longer was I going to experience feelings of humiliation from not being able to host sleepovers with my friends or from not being able to gossip with girls in school about who had the prettiest room color.

I had been homeless for the first thirteen years of my life. Although I will never be able to fully repay my parents for all of their sacrifices, the least I could do was to help find them a home that they could call their own—and that year, I did. To me, a home means more than the general conception of “four walls and a roof.” A home is a place filled with memories and laughter from my family. No matter where my future may lead me, I know that if at times I feel alone, I will always have a yellow home with my family inside waiting for me.

文书点评:
What we love about Eda’s essay is its refreshing vulnerability. Too many college essays are “too” picture-perfect. Eda doesn’t censor the truth, even if admitting her inner thoughts may potentially paint her in a negative light. For example, she starts the entire essay with a scene of her weeping on her parents’ bed, blaming them for her misfortune. By being so honest, Eda showcases her genuine growth and maturity over time.

Her personal voice is also strong throughout the essay. When she talks about falling in love with “that yellow house,” an image of said house is automatically conjured up in our minds. When she speaks of the heartbreak she experienced upon learning “that yellow house” was sold to another family, we felt pain in our hearts too. Her deliberate choice to “PLAY” the voicemail she received for us and include her subsequent internal thoughts further pulls us into reliving her journey with her.

Yet, she goes beyond merely telling us of her journey. She highlights just how atypical her journey has been. Instead of enjoying phone conversations about makeup or shoes, she is talking to agents about fix-rate mortgages and down payments… all at the age of 13. Though she does not explicitly state this (she doesn’t need to): it is clear that Eda has had to grow up fast, becoming a stronger individual as a result.

Her understanding of the word “home” evolves from a physical roof over her head to a more abstract one. Home is wherever her “memories and laughter” exist. In the end, she comes to terms with the sacrifices her parents have made. Learning to be proud of her upbringing showcases Eda’s evolution.

Eda is someone who will overcome whatever challenges thrown her way, making her a strong college applicant.

此外,哈佛大学的招生官在点评中经常出现的一句是“申请人的文书开头......”可见,哈佛大学的招生官同样也非常注重PS开头是否能吸引他们继续读下去。

哈佛大学2022录取优秀文书
和招生官点评合集
大家可以扫描二维码获取哦~

约翰霍普金斯大学
JHU的文书以及点评相较于哈佛就非常轻松,招生官们在点评中会更着重点评申请人的创新能力、独到的价值观和见解、个人兴趣的发展。

JHU优秀文书:后翼弃兵
作者深思熟虑地将他从国际象棋中学到的教训与他在足球场上的表现联系起来,而不是对整个国际象棋比赛或足球比赛的逐个叙述。

同时他也展现了他可以将一门学科中学到的知识应用到另一门学科中的超强能力,潜移默化地向招生官证明自己的无限潜力。

文书内容展示:
I was thoroughly confused. I thought I had procured the complete solution to this elaborate chess puzzle. What am I missing? A knight fork, a bishop move? Am I in check? After a quick glance at the left side of the board, I slapped my hand on my head as I suddenly realized what my chess coach was telling me. My queen was sitting unused, positioned all the way on the other side of the board, and I had no idea. If I were to sacrifice my queen, the opposing rook would be forced to capture it, allowing me to finish the game in style with the illustrious “smothered mate.”

If you begin to look at the whole chessboard, then these puzzles will become a breeze for you.

Ever since that chess lesson, those words have stuck. Indeed, my chess skills improved swiftly as my rating flew over the 1000 Elo threshold in a matter of months. However, those words did not merely pertain to chess. Looking at the whole picture became a foundational skill that I have utilized throughout my life in school and other endeavors. I particularly remember making use of it on the soccer field.

Now, I’m no Arnold Schwarzenegger. Weighing in at a monstrous 125 pounds and standing 5 foot 8 inches, my opponents made it a habit to tackle me to the ground. Once again, I found myself face to face with the defender, and before I knew it, I crumbled to the ground, left isolated and dispossessed. Laying dazed on the pitch, my mind flashed back to the chessboard. It occurred to me that soccer, much like chess, relies on the proper position of the many pieces that combine to create a finished strategy. The “whole picture” of soccer is not just how fast or strong one is or how many tackles you put in; that is only one element of the puzzle. The intelligence and creativity needed in a playmaker is also an essential part of a well-rounded soccer team. I realized that my most significant advantage would always be my in-depth understanding of the game of soccer—where to pass the ball, when to make a run, if the ball should be in the air or driven. I picked myself off the ground, and when that same defender came barreling towards me again, I was zoned in, oblivious to the noise around me. I chipped the ball into the open space right behind him, knowing my teammate would run into the space without even looking. From then on, I continued to hone my skills through intense practice to become the best playmaker I could be, working in conjunction with my faster and stronger teammates to become a well-balanced, unified team.

Through chess and soccer, I have discovered that every piece in a puzzle has a purpose. This new perspective has enhanced my ability to stop, stand back, and analyze the whole picture in the many dimensions of my life. In my scientific studies, it was not enough to examine just one C. reinhardtii cell, but it was necessary to zoom out the microscope to capture all of the thousand cells to truly understand quorum sensing and its consequences. In my studies of music, it was not enough to listen to the melody of the finale of Beethoven’s 9th symphony, but one must realize that the true beauty of the composition lies in the whole orchestra handing off this simple melody to every instrument. All these facets—music, research, soccer, chess—are not only completed puzzles but also parts of a greater whole: my life. Every aspect of myself matters as much as the other. As high school comes to an end, the pieces on my board are set, and I only have success in mind.

Your move.

文书点评:
Dante’s essay makes it clear to the reader that he is very curious and has many interests by showing more than telling. He thoughtfully connects the lessons he’s learned from chess to his performance on the soccer field and does a great job of focusing on what he learned as opposed to a blow-by-blow recount of the entire chess match or soccer game. The reader is also able to see that Dante can apply what he learns in one subject to another, which is essential to succeeding academically at Hopkins. Our admissions committee can read this essay and find clear evidence that Dante’s way of thinking would help him thrive in our interdisciplinary curriculum.

埃默里大学
埃默里大学的招生官非常强调个人是否具有冒险精神和强烈的好奇心。

埃默里大学优秀文书
在文书的开头,作者巧妙地表达出跨学科学习的开放性,以及通识教育的特质。

另外他在文书中阐述了自己致力于改善社区的美好愿景:成为一名具有社会责任感的人,令TA在招生环节中获得了更多友好的关注。

文书内容展示:
“How prone to doubt, how cautious are the wise!”
-Homer

“D’oh!”
-Homer Simpson

I’m not a philosopher; eloquence eludes me, the meaning of life is unquestioned, and thinking, beyond what is required to carry out a potential, is postponed to a more leisurely time. I’ve experienced doubt, and proceeded with caution; and in my experience, I’ve learned to discard unnecessary thought and conventional wisdom in favor of progress. Philosophy amounts to nothing unless it results in action.

“You’re kidding.” Scanning my schedule, my classmate shakes her head. “Why didn’t you take Dual Credit?” During Junior year, my high school began to incentivize Dual Credit courses with a GPA multiplier. Advertised to be less demanding than an AP class, Dual Credit was extolled as the wise man’s curriculum. So, mustering all the wisdom I had, I took 6 AP classes, and frankly, I enjoyed their depth. When it comes to education, I’m not cautious – and I’m prone to doubt. I just act. If I want chemistry, then I get chemistry; if I’m intrigued by psychology, then I pursue psychology. There is no point in pondering the inevitable; I am determined to take educational opportunities. I’ll judge the difficulty for myself after I complete it.

The practice of prioritizing action has proved useful in my pursuits. In ninth grade, I could have doubted my capability; instead I ran for office in the school’s health club and earned a position in the eleventh grade. That year, there was a debate amongst the members over meeting schedules: if the Technology Students Association meeting coincided with ours, how would we attract new members? As the club officers weighed the costs and benefits amongst themselves, I left the meeting and signed up for the technology club, discussed an agreement, and voted for the technology club to move its meetings to the second half of lunch before scheduling the Health club meetings for the first half. Did it require thinking? No. Eloquence? Hardly. Contrary to the anticipated speeches and club-based patriotism, it only took clear action and a request to solve the conflict. Attendance increased, and as a bonus, I enjoyed a continued membership with both organizations.

Beyond the sphere of public education, doubt-free determination facilitated my impact in the community. I am seventeen; I cannot vote in the upcoming elections. However, that does not mean I will hesitate to make a mark with my city. Small actions, from teaching addition to a church member’s kindergartener to tutoring three classmates for the SAT, matter in the long run. Can a teenage end world hunger? Doubtful; but by pulling weeds from the community garden, I can further progress one step at a time.

Not all actions end successfully. However, between cautious wisdom and failure, I choose action. I don’t fancy myself as wise; I’m not prone to doubt, nor am I perpetually cautious. I simply pursue my goal. As the wiser Homer has taught America, when torn between success and potential peril, one must simply “D’oh.”

文书点评:
In reading through this personal statement, there are a few key themes which come through. First, the approach to learning is positive, thoughtful, and reflective. Particularly in the opening section, the love of learning which centers on the course material and not so much the course name is evident. Additionally, the openness to learning across a variety of academic disciplines comes through in the narrative. Learning new and different disciplines is a hallmark of the liberal arts experience and the author demonstrates this expertly.

Another theme in this essay is the use of knowledge to make change. The author illustrates a personal will, perhaps gumption, to improve the community in a meaningful way. While it may be perceived as small, the ability to create change in a community is important to its evolution. Being an engaged community citizen manifests itself nicely in this essay by being supported throughout the rest narrative and the application.

Lastly, a willingness to take risks is evident throughout the narrative and exciting to read about. To go boldly forward towards a new community means taking big risks, and it is apparent that the author is ready to dive in here at Emory. In the end, what avails is the author’s confidence to fail forwards, which is an invaluable mindset to have when entering your first year of college. Stepping back, we’ve learned a lot about this student through their writing⁠—maybe most importantly⁠—how their personal qualities align nicely with Emory’s mission and community values.

除此之外,还有几所藤校的文书喜好,小林在这里也给大家一并汇总啦~

普林斯顿大学
低调的普林斯顿大学看重学生的踏实治学,所以这所学校更喜欢质朴、感人的文章。

耶鲁大学和布朗大学
这两所偏向自由、开放,能力好是一方面,是否真正的对人生、对社会有思考才更重要。

康奈尔大学
康奈尔是藤校中唯一“半公半私”的大学,除了你的个人特质之外,它还看重你在文书中是否展现出了自己的社会责任心。

哥伦比亚大学
哥大非常看重学生的成熟度,众多哥大录取者的文书内容和笔触都非常干练,透露着强大气场,想要申请哥大,文书中要有一些高含金量的活动以及有成效的问题解决方案支撑才行。

宾夕法尼亚大学
宾大则是个“务实派”,它希望在你的文书中看到你的活动、你的热情,但最重要的是你是否真的投入进去,是否真的有很大的影响。

达特茅斯学院
作为藤校中的文理学院,如果你在文书中表达对“小而精”教育的兴趣,相对来说会更适合达特茅斯。

2文书写作搞定这3点很重要
文书的意义是让招生官能够深入了解申请者,因此,写文书实际上就是向申请者描述自己,无论是过往的经历还是个性,都应该毫不遮掩地体现在文字中。

同时,文书并不是展示词汇量或写作功底的地方,要尽可能生动地讲述,而不必为了追求华丽的辞藻讲句子修饰得“别别扭扭”,甚至出现一些语法错误就得不偿失了。

以下几点写作要点大家也可以收藏起来慢慢看~

文书开头很重要!
哥伦比亚大学的一位招生官曾公开过审核一份申请材料的全过程,其中文书及补充文书的审核用时仅仅5分钟。

因此,一篇文书想要在短短几分钟内快速吸引招生官的眼球、勾起他们的好奇心,一个引人入胜的开头必不可少。

将招生官带入自己描述的场景中 
耶鲁大学本科招生办公室副主任Keith Light曾在某节目中提到:在阅读文书时,最大的享受就是在脑海中设想这些优秀的申请者,他们的创造力、思考深度、写作角度等,见文如见人。

对于同学们来说,写出一篇生动且富有画面感的文书,更容易让读者“同步”你的真情实感,让他们能够认识真正的你。

文书需要独特性 
无论哪种选题,都应该是帮助招生官更全面的了解申请人本人,所以在文书中大家要写的是个人实际参与过的经历。

不要忽略或者看轻任何一件“鸡毛蒜皮”的小事,也许正是这件不起眼的小事可以深刻地向招生官展现你自己。

总的来说,无论是选择怎样的写作主题,最关键的还是要言之有物才行,课外活动是最适合写进文书的经历之一,近年来,美本招生官们也越来越重视申请者的课外活动。

所以同学们需要抓紧时间不断丰富自己的履历,增强个人申请竞争力!

如果在英美申请文书方面,需要支持和帮助的话

欢迎扫码联系我们,还能免费获得一对一学术活动规划!

翰林各科国际赛事课程/组队  
正在火热招募中  
八大藤校/埃默里/JHU文书“癖好”曝光,这些满分文书的主题,真香!

八大藤校/埃默里/JHU文书“癖好”曝光,这些满分文书的主题,真香!

八大藤校/埃默里/JHU文书“癖好”曝光,这些满分文书的主题,真香!

八大藤校/埃默里/JHU文书“癖好”曝光,这些满分文书的主题,真香!

八大藤校/埃默里/JHU文书“癖好”曝光,这些满分文书的主题,真香!

八大藤校/埃默里/JHU文书“癖好”曝光,这些满分文书的主题,真香!

八大藤校/埃默里/JHU文书“癖好”曝光,这些满分文书的主题,真香!* 以上赛事主办方为海外机构,不与任何中国的大学、中学或小学升学加分活动挂钩,其成绩不会作为任何中国中小学升学或评优的依据,仅定位为针对中学生的课外兴趣活动和国际教学交流活动。

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