JHU约翰霍普金斯、埃默里优秀文书及招生官点评合集,速来领取!

虽然申请季还没有正式拉开序幕,不过很多今年将要申请的同学已经在构思自己的文书啦。

毕竟各种大小文书压力加在一起也不小,这些都不是能够“一蹴而就”的,反复修改打磨的前提就是充分的时间。

在写文书之前,免不了找一些过往的优秀文书给自己增加一些灵感,小编特意给大家整理了JHU、埃默里两所大学官方认可的优秀文书,赶快收藏起来吧!

约翰霍普金斯大学
优秀文书
官方范本!JHU、埃默里优秀文书+招生官点评合集,速来领取!以下为JHU官方发布的2025届学生优秀文书范本:
1Rozanne
Lifelong Learning
The white yarn slipped off my aluminium crochet hook, adding a single crochet to rows and rows of existing stitches, that looked to be in the form of a blob. Staring at the image of the little unicorn amigurumi lit up on the screen of my laptop, and looking back at the UMO (unidentified messy object) number five, I was extremely perplexed.

This had seemed so easy. Round 1, construct a magic circle with 6 single crochets. Done. Round 2 was an increase round resulting in a total of 12 stitches. Also done. The remaining rounds were blurred into hours and minutes that should have resulted in a little white creature in the likeness of a unicorn, but sitting on my desk (much like the four days before today) was a pool of tangled white yarn. It was not until day seven that a creature with a lopsided head whose horn was the only identifier of the mythical being emerged.

Very much like learning how to crochet, my journey in forging my own path and finding a passion was confusing, messy and at times infuriating. Even in primary school, I had heard all the stories of individuals finding their own route in life. I had been told stories of those who found their passion at a young age and were exceptionally proficient at their craft, of those that abandoned their interests and pursued a lucrative career, even those who chose their dreams but regretted it afterwards. This weighed heavily on me, as I was determined to have a success story as many of my other family members had. The only problem was that I did not have a direction.

In the years following primary school, I stepped out of my comfort zone in a frenzy to find a passion. I joined the school orchestra where I played the violin, and a debate class to practice public speaking and become much more eloquent. At my ballet school, I branched out to contemporary and jazz dance. I stuffed myself with experience similar to an amigurumi engorged with batting. I found myself enjoying all of those activities but soon enough, I was swamped with extracurriculars. Just like the tangles of white yarn on my desk, I was pulled in all directions. I still felt lost. To make things worse, it seemed as if everyone else had found their path in life, and they had all become white unicorns while I was still doubting the stitch I just made.

It was not until high school that I realised that I could view this mission to find a passion from another perspective. While successfully completing a crochet project is an accomplishment itself, the motions of making slip knots, single or double crochets takes you on an adventure as well. The knots that I had encountered in my craft were evidence of my experiences and what shaped me as an individual. My exploration of various paths through detours may have sometimes resulted in roadblocks, but I continued to persevere and learn from my experiences, applying the skills that I have gained to future knots. The mini adventures that I went on were all crucial to me in the greater journey of life.

Through trial and error, the current adventure that I am on resonates the most with me, taking me down the path of service and environmental activism. However, I have learnt that no one path is static, and I can be on more than one path at a time. While I may only be halfway to the proportionate unicorn amigurumi that some others may have already achieved, I still have so much to learn and so much that I want to learn, and so my journey to grow continues.

学生的话
在我的活动清单中,我选择写下我最热衷的部分。这篇文章不仅展现了我的爱好(钩针编织、折纸和阅读),也展现了我生活经历对我的形象个性的塑造。

招生官点评
Rozanne在文书中展示了自己追求一种新的爱好,她为找到自己的激情所做的更大努力。虽然一开始可能看起来很混乱和令人困惑,但投入必要的努力和时间会带来非常有意义的结果。

Rozanne的作品还涉及了其他几项对她影响深远的活动,包括舞蹈、环保活动等。

在更大的层面上,这篇文书让招生委员会看到她是一个会利用机会的人,通过多种方式参与社区活动,走出舒适区并能够自我反思。

2SAMUEL
Stepping Out of my Comfort Zone
If you told me I would be playing a sport called squash at 11 years old, I would call you crazy. But in seventh grade, I was at a new school 10 times bigger than my last one. I felt like a little fish in a big pond. I was quiet, withdrawn, and very introverted. A lot of the time, I stayed where I was comfortable.

During the first week of school, a group of people visited the school and they introduced themselves as Squashbusters. At that time, I’d only heard of Squash once before, but I didn’t really know what it was. Because the program combined the sport of squash with academic support, mentoring, and service opportunities, I decided to sign up. It’s been six years and this program has made a monumental difference in my life.

Being a part of SquashBusters is a program that really pushed me out of my shell to the point where I’ve grown accustomed to challenging myself. In SquashBusters, they tell us to push ourselves past our limits on the squash courts, but that mindset has transferred to other areas of my life as well. From team trips and tournaments to cringy karaoke moments and participating in eccentric traditions like our annual SquashBusters Olympics, my comfort zone has steadily grown larger. My peers brought out a side of me I didn’t even know existed. I haven’t transformed completely from introvert to extrovert, but I’ve become more social as the years go by.

At Hopkins, I want to do something similar. I want to try new things and embrace the campus traditions. Even though I will develop intellectually from the many academic classes and clubs/activities offered on campus, I feel as though a true community is birthed from exploring beyond what one’s used to. From traditions like Blue Jay Opening Day and the Spring Fair to the many world-changing clubs like the Amnesty International club and the Foreign Affairs Symposium, the different ways to be involved in the Hopkins community is limitless and invigorating and I can’t wait to be a part of the Hopkins family.

学生的话
我想给现在正在写文书的同学一些建议,要记住初稿很少会写得很好,所以一定要尽可能地多写,还要给自己很多时间来接受来自同龄人、老师和自己的修改意见。

招生官点评
Samuel的文章是对将自己推离舒适区的反思,这不仅是重要的人生课程,也是JHU学生每天都在做的事情。

我们的学生突破发现的界限,在课堂内外面临挑战,并追求新的激情。

Samuel体现了这些特征,并且能够将他在壁球场上学到的经验应用到生活其他领域。

我们可以相信,对于未来的各种学术或课外活动机会,他都能够积极面临并克服挑战。

3ELIZABETH
Red Over Black
“Bring the ace of spades up,” my Grandmother said as we started our first game of solitaire after I got home from school. “Now, put the black eight onto the red nine.” We played solitaire often, working together to reorganize the cards most efficiently. While it was meant to be a single-player game, solitaire was the one thing we did together, moving and dealing the cards in a symphony of order: red to black, red to black. Pulling the pattern out of the random array of cards.

For hours, we sat at our glossy kitchen table, playing game after game. If there were no more moves to make, I would always sneak a card from below a column without my grandma seeing. She always did. I couldn’t understand- What was the big deal of revealing the cards? We might win one out of ten games played. But if we just ‘helped ourselves,’ as I liked to call it, we could win them all. I didn’t understand her adherence to the “Turn Three” rule. Why not just turn the cards one by one? It was too frustrating to see the cards go by, but turn exactly three and not be able to pick them up! After one game we lost, I asked my grandma, “Why do we play this way? There’s a much better way to play.” In response, she quickly explained her adamancy to the rules, what before had made no sense to me.

Her polished fingernails scratched against the cards as she shuffled them and told me. “Solitaire isn’t just a game for one person.” Her deep brown eyes sharply glanced at me, “No.” It wasn’t just a game for one person, but rather for two sides of a person. It was an internal battle, a strengthening of the mind. One playing against oneself. “If one side of you cheats, how would either side get better?”

Red lipsticked lips slightly grinned as my grandma saw me trying to understand, but I didn’t agree with this thought at once. The cards rhythmically slapped down onto the table as my grandmother, small yet stoic, effortlessly moved the cards with frail hands. I watched her. I thought about any other way to understand this idea. I desperately wanted to. Trying to think, I couldn’t imagine another instance where this sense of tranquility, bringing the melody of organization out of a cacophony of random cards, came from such intense competition.

The slow manipulation of life around her precedent made me think back to my grandma, to what she told me, and made me understand. Two years later, pushing myself harder than I ever had before in a field hockey match, I realized how much I had been cheating myself and my team by not putting this effort in before. Four years later, I was helping my parents clean after dinner when I saw the value in not taking the easy way out. Five years later, I found once again the difficult ease in pottery. Lifting the pot off the wheel, I found satisfaction. Looking back, I hadn’t realized that this notion of self-accountability appears in almost every aspect of my life.

Seven columns. Four aces. Fifty-two cards. Laying these down, I’m brought back to playing solitaire with my grandmother. Through time, her inner spirit never crumbled as her body began to deteriorate. Her mind stayed strong and proud. I admired her for that more than she could’ve imagined. Each challenge I face, or will face, in life, I think back to her lesson one inconspicuous afternoon. Never let myself cheat. Always hold myself accountable. Work hard in every competition, especially the ones against myself, as those are the ones that better me the most. I did not understand what my grandmother meant that day. Now, with each day, I do more.

学生的话
我想通过文书向招生官展示我的个性和我最看重的东西。

我在文章中列出我负责、努力工作、自我提升等,是通过申请系统很难体现的,我希望招生官了解我的世界观和其形成的原因。

招生官点评
许多学生想在文书中分享他们生活中的重要人物或家庭成员,挑战在于如何确保文书仍然是围绕申请人的,而不是偏移重点到其他人身上。

Elizabeth在这点就做得很好,她把祖母的故事融入其中,同时仍然把注意力集中在自己身上,讲述了她在那个特定的时刻学到了什么、对她生活的影响等。

此外,尽管Elizabeth一开始就关注童年经历,但她将其带回了她的日常生活,并将她的责任感和如何努力工作贯穿始终。

了解Elizabeth是谁以及她的价值观,有助于我们了解她将在我们的校园社区中成为什么样的人。

更多JHU学生优秀文书范本,
可扫码添加顾问老师领取!

埃默里大学
优秀文书
官方范本!JHU、埃默里优秀文书+招生官点评合集,速来领取!Tell a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.
题目:讲述一个你生活中的故事,描述一个可以展示你的性格或帮助塑造它的经历。

1Use rhetoric to engage your reader
“How prone to doubt, how cautious are the wise!”
-Homer

“D’oh!”
-Homer Simpson

I’m not a philosopher; eloquence eludes me, the meaning of life is unquestioned, and thinking, beyond what is required to carry out a potential, is postponed to a more leisurely time. I’ve experienced doubt, and proceeded with caution; and in my experience, I’ve learned to discard unnecessary thought and conventional wisdom in favor of progress. Philosophy amounts to nothing unless it results in action.

“You’re kidding.” Scanning my schedule, my classmate shakes her head. “Why didn’t you take Dual Credit?” During Junior year, my high school began to incentivize Dual Credit courses with a GPA multiplier. Advertised to be less demanding than an AP class, Dual Credit was extolled as the wise man’s curriculum. So, mustering all the wisdom I had, I took 6 AP classes, and frankly, I enjoyed their depth. When it comes to education, I’m not cautious – and I’m prone to doubt. I just act. If I want chemistry, then I get chemistry; if I’m intrigued by psychology, then I pursue psychology. There is no point in pondering the inevitable; I am determined to take educational opportunities. I’ll judge the difficulty for myself after I complete it.

The practice of prioritizing action has proved useful in my pursuits. In ninth grade, I could have doubted my capability; instead I ran for office in the school’s health club and earned a position in the eleventh grade. That year, there was a debate amongst the members over meeting schedules: if the Technology Students Association meeting coincided with ours, how would we attract new members? As the club officers weighed the costs and benefits amongst themselves, I left the meeting and signed up for the technology club, discussed an agreement, and voted for the technology club to move its meetings to the second half of lunch before scheduling the Health club meetings for the first half. Did it require thinking? No. Eloquence? Hardly. Contrary to the anticipated speeches and club-based patriotism, it only took clear action and a request to solve the conflict. Attendance increased, and as a bonus, I enjoyed a continued membership with both organizations.

Beyond the sphere of public education, doubt-free determination facilitated my impact in the community. I am seventeen; I cannot vote in the upcoming elections. However, that does not mean I will hesitate to make a mark with my city. Small actions, from teaching addition to a church member’s kindergartener to tutoring three classmates for the SAT, matter in the long run. Can a teenage end world hunger? Doubtful; but by pulling weeds from the community garden, I can further progress one step at a time.

Not all actions end successfully. However, between cautious wisdom and failure, I choose action. I don’t fancy myself as wise; I’m not prone to doubt, nor am I perpetually cautious. I simply pursue my goal. As the wiser Homer has taught America, when torn between success and potential peril, one must simply “D’oh.”

招生官点评
在阅读这份个人陈述时,有几个关键主题。

首先,学习方法是积极的、深思熟虑的和反思的。特别是在开篇部分,以课程材料而不是课程名称为中心,对学习的热爱显而易见。此外,在叙述中体现了跨学科学习的开放性,学习新的、不同的学科是文科经验的标志,作者熟练地证明了这一点。

本文的另一个主题是利用知识进行变革。作者表达了用有意义的方式改善社区的个人意愿,虽然可能很渺小,但在社区中创造变化的能力对其演变很重要。

最后,文中很显然地展现了作者敢于冒险挑战的意愿,读起来令人兴奋。我们通过文书了解了很多关于这个学生的信息,最重要的是其个人品质如何与埃默里大学的使命和社区价值观完美契合,很明显作者已经做好来到埃默里的准备。

2Analyze your changed opinions
Tell a story from your life, describing an experience that either demonstrates your character or helped to shape it.
题目:讲述一个你生活中的故事,描述一个可以展示你的性格或帮助塑造它的经历。

In Fyodor Dostoevsky’s, “Crime and Punishment”, the character Sonia is metaphorically linked to Christ. After prostituting herself to feed her family, she covers her head and face in shawls, before lying on her bed face down and sobbing– through this, she is linked to the death of Jesus. Her mother, Katarina, kisses her feet while she sobs, the same way people in the churches of that time wept and kissed at the feet of idols to Christ. In this situation, Dostoevsky is implying that even something such as prostitution that might be deemed a sin can instead be that which allows one to be a Saint.

As my mother choked up while I described the above anecdote, I was filled with confusion. What could lead her to be so upset over this philosophical question? I asked if there was something she wanted to talk about and to say there was would be an understatement.

She described to me the process by which my Father, in pursuit of a sexual relationship with a young woman, had demolished our family’s house, and all of my Mom’s identifying documents, before successfully taking away both me and my brother. While my father wasn’t on my birth certificate for a Welfare bid, and my mother regained custody of me, my brother had to remain in the care of a man who put little emphasis on caring for his sons at that point in his life. My mother was left with no money, no place to live, and no friends who would lend their support. She turned to her sister for guidance and instead of love and compassion was met with cruelty, deceit, and greed.

My mother found a parallel between herself and Sonia. Both were faced with a problem the likes of which seems unsolvable and were thrust into a patriarchal system that far too often values little of women beyond the most primitive desires. Despite constant attempts to get herself onto a more admirable path, the system resisted her. She could not afford to purchase new identifying documents without missing rent, and I couldn’t handle being paraded through 105-degree weather. She was stuck. My dad came back and offered to continue their relationship after more than a year of abject poverty and lack of bodily autonomy. And she accepted the invitation into the man who had ruined her life for me.

After going through a phase of alcoholism and an instance of domestic violence against my Father, I viewed my mother as immoral, or misguided at the least. I was wrong. Despite experiencing some of the worst things a human can experience, and being able to tell nobody about it, she remained in a household with a man who intentionally hurt her beyond belief, for my well being. If there is a God above us, he views Sonia and my Mother not as sinners, but as Saints, and in that conviction, I could not be more absolute.

招生官点评
文学让人们在写作中看到自己。这篇文章对他的个人故事进行了详尽的描述。

作为招生专业人士,我们经常被学生问到他们是否应该谈论他们的个人挑战和经历。虽然我们对文书主题没有偏好,但我们强调学生写的文书要展现他们自己的声音,而不是他们家庭和或社区的声音。

这篇文章将文学、家庭和自我错综复杂地编织成一篇文章。老实说,这种性质的文章有时很难完成。它需要清晰的写作重点、清晰和简洁。

这篇文章的优势在于开篇就明确了主题的要点和意图,使读者很容易理解故事情节。这篇文书的例子表明,无论主题是个人的还是虚构的,故事的流程对于论文写作的重要性与选择主题一样重要。

Some students have a background, identity, interest, or talent that is so meaningful they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.
题目:一些学生的背景、身份、兴趣或才能非常有意义,如果没有这些,他们的申请将是不完整的。如果这听起来像你,那么请分享你的故事。

3Demonstrate your unshakeable curiosity
Most airplanes are constructed with seats in rows of two or three. Mathematically, that means no matter the configuration, someone in my family of five has to sit by a stranger. Ever since I was little, I always asked to be that person. Perhaps it’s the optimistic middle child in me, but I always considered the greatest possibility was that I could meet someone remarkable, and that the conversation could be anything on the spectrum from slightly interesting to life-changing.

From the time I could speak, I began to realize that overcoming communication barriers was an integral key to unlocking the enormous potential in constructing meaningful relationships with others. My father is a successful scientist, but he has also been profoundly deaf since birth. My childhood was spent understanding his intelligence while still struggling at times to convey basic needs because I was choosing words that were too difficult to lipread and that I couldn’t yet write. As a kid, I learned how to continually recalibrate my own approach to overcome the challenge of constantly being misunderstood. My ability to build a relationship with my father was contingent on spending a lifetime navigating around the communication barriers that exist for someone who cannot hear. At the time I didn’t foresee I was developing an aptitude for communication skills that would be critical for succeeding in so many other important areas.

Since kindergarten, I have loved Chinese culture. My mom got tired of me requesting panda birthday cakes year after year and seeing me dressed as a panda each Halloween until I grew out of every costume. In second grade, I convinced the owner of a noodle house to give me two Chinese lanterns that still hang in my room today. In my junior year of high school, I earned a competitive scholarship from the U.S. State Department to study abroad for the summer learning Mandarin and immersing myself in eastern culture. Being dropped into Chengdu, China when you don’t speak the language fluently and being cut off from all communication back home was not all the cuddly pandas and Tai chi in the park that I had fantasized. Once again, I found myself a toddler, unable to communicate basic needs. I wondered, “Are humans really supposed to eat all the foods you’re giving me?” I quickly learned the Chinese education system is one of unparalleled expectations, not for the meek. With every grade a student receives, they can see their successes or failures broadcasted on a board in front of the class. Each new day tested my adaptability, my resilience, and my digestive system. I, for the first time, realized what it must feel like to be my father on the other side of the communication barrier, not just trying to express my needs, but trying to really understand what others are saying. At the end of the program I was told I had been unanimously voted by my school administration in China to represent the scholarship recipients and deliver a speech on their behalf to over 500 people… in Chinese. The flight was now descending after so many remarkable experiences and conversations with strangers.

Throughout my life, I have learned that the path to overcoming communication barriers is to will oneself through them. One must embrace it all and say “yes” to every new and uncomfortable experience. In the end, I returned home with a cultural awareness beyond expectation, possessing lifelong friendships with former strangers whom I now communicate with in their native language, and surprisingly loving the taste of rabbit eyeballs and cow intestines.

I am so grateful to have learned and confirmed in my life that stepping out of my comfort zone can, in fact, lead to experiences anywhere on the spectrum from slightly interesting to life-changing. On the flight home from China I, of course, chose to sit next to a stranger… and it didn’t disappoint.

招生官点评
从我读到这篇文书的前几句话开始,我就知道这位学生很适合 埃默里。他重视交流对话、好奇心旺盛、思想开放,这也是我们在埃默里学生身上寻找的品质。

没有多少人会承认他们喜欢在飞机上与陌生人搭讪。这个学生会接受这类型的偶然相遇,因为他认为这是学习和成长的机会。

在人们似乎是在错误地交流而不是交流的时代,这个学生显然是一个了解言语可能对他人产生的影响,并专注于提高他的沟通技巧以与他人建立牢固关系的人,尤其是他的父亲。

此外,这位学生确实走出了自己的舒适区,来到了中国一年,在那里亲身经历了沟通障碍,找到了打破这些障碍的创造性解决方案,同时与他的同学们建立了桥梁。

这篇文章散发出关怀、同情和做出积极改变的愿望。这位学生清楚地体现了埃默里利用知识为人类服务的使命,我们迫不及待地期待他与埃默里大学展开那些有影响力的对话。

更多埃默里学生优秀文书范本

可扫码添加顾问老师领取!

当然,想要获得梦校的青睐,除了能写的一手好文书肯定是不够的,过硬的学术实力才是你踏入梦校的底气!

大家也可以利用课余时间参与一些国际赛事活动,丰富自己的学术生活,也为将来写文书积累素材!

翰林国际赛事/国际课程夏季课程  
正在火热招募中  
官方范本!JHU、埃默里优秀文书+招生官点评合集,速来领取!

官方范本!JHU、埃默里优秀文书+招生官点评合集,速来领取!

官方范本!JHU、埃默里优秀文书+招生官点评合集,速来领取!

官方范本!JHU、埃默里优秀文书+招生官点评合集,速来领取!

官方范本!JHU、埃默里优秀文书+招生官点评合集,速来领取!* 以上赛事主办方为海外机构,不与任何中国的大学、中学或小学升学加分活动挂钩,其成绩不会作为任何中国中小学升学或评优的依据,仅定位为针对中学生的课外兴趣活动和国际教学交流活动。

翰林国际教育资讯二维码